For Eternity


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Lindsay Beyer
~for Rachel Martha Salomonson

On November 15, 2005, half of my heart was ripped from my body. My other half, God given, soul mate, Rachel Salomonson, was in a tragic car accident and perished. Rachel and I had seen each other 48 hours prior meeting in Madison. We went with friends but ended up frolicking away to spend two magical days together.  Little did I know it would be the last time I’d ever see her beautiful face.

My roads been long and hard. Of course, there’s no specific route of the grieving process, but I simply, rarely allowed myself to do so properly. My heart was so raw and empty, I lived the days following her death by a miracle of God. I did everything I could to try to numb the unbearable ache and despair I felt. It’s been 8 years since her death. Throughout this time, I can still honestly say I have subconsciously tried to avoid the due process in allowing myself to be free…free of the guilt….free of the regret, let people in, and release the harboring negativity and emptiness that consumes me…

I know in my heart I have come a long way and my tattoos tell many stories of the grief, but most of all, they stand as tribute to my beautiful, Rachel Martha Salomonson.

My broken heart of sand tied together with rope on my right inside forearm, is the most meaningful. Rachel’s mom, Toni, sent me a post card of this a year after Rachel’s death, thanking me for being with them on November 15th. The heart symbolizes my broken soft granular-like heart, tied back together…for there is hope.

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I have several more, as well. On the back of my neck, I have “For Eternity ” in Latin. Rachel and I never said ‘best friends’, but rather, ‘for eternity’. Best friends was too cliché for the magical existence we shared. RMS is imprinted on my left wrist. On my 20th birthday I flew up to Mankato and stayed with two of her friends. My main reason for going was to go to Cactus Tattoo. Lindsay Beyer.RMS initials

 

She had always talked about Cactus Tattoo and I felt her there as the tattoo needle inscribed her into my wrist.  Shortly after, I got LRB, my initials, on my right wrist, sharing the space with the heart of sand. I truly love my tattoos for they show the road of my pain, my dedication to her, and never ending love.

 

 

 

 

Copyright © behind-the-ink, Nancy Perlson